How Do You Know It’s Time to Say Goodbye to Your Dog

If you're an animal person, having a dog can be one of the greatest joys of life. But considering the average lifespan for dogs is 10 to 13 years, there will inevitably come a time when you have to part with your beloved four-legged friend.

Saying goodbye can be devastating, but what may be even more difficult is deciding when it's time to say goodbye.

When a pet is elderly or is diagnosed with a progressive or fatal disease, there's the option to help ease their pain with veterinarian-assisted death, also known as pet euthanasia. In fact, a 2021 U.K. study found that most dog owners - almost 92% - opt for euthanasia to help their dogs die peacefully when it's time. But the decision of putting a dog down is not one that most dog owners take lightly.

We asked three dog owners who sought end-of-life care for their beloved pets to share how they knew it was time to put their dogs down.

She never wants to see her dogs in pain

Pamela Klinger-Horn, a book event coordinator in Minneapolis, is a bona fide dog lover. When she's not promoting books, most of her social media posts are about her beloved labrador retrievers, Tucker and the Squirrel.

Over her life, Pamela has had seven other labradors - meaning, she's had plenty of hard experiences caring for dogs at the end of their lives.

With "our first lab, I thought it was going to kill me when we lost him," Pamela says of her late dog Roy, who developed lymphoma when he was 12. At that point, Pamela didn't have much experience with losing a pet. She just knew she didn't want Roy to be in pain.

"They were treating him, and we wanted to keep him comfortable for as long as we could," she says. "And then, his last night, his front leg swelled up four times the size. And we could see he was suffering."

Pamela knew it was time. In the morning, they called the vet, who came to their home and euthanized Roy in his happy place: the back of Pamela's Ford Expedition, parked in the garage, where he loved to sit and "watch the world go by."

"They gave him the needle, and he just put his head down," she says. "It was very peaceful."

She knew then she had made the right decision. "I felt like he was really suffering, and it's just not anything you want," she says. "We never want one of our pets to suffer just so we could get an extra day or two of time with them."

While losing a pet has never gotten easier, Pamela says of making the decision to put down a dog, she always remembers her vet's sage advice: "When you're choosing to make a decision about euthanasia, it's better to be a week early than even a day too late, because you never want your animal to suffer."

Their dog's excitement for popcorn - and life - was gone

Louie, an 18-year-old pug, had been with Daphne Leigh and her husband for 15 years - longer than their kids had been alive. Old age had already taken Louie's sight, and he was hard of hearing. But neither of those afflictions seemed to slow him down.

"He didn't fall off things because he knew [our house]. And instead of yelling at him, we just pulled him," Daphne, who's 41 and lives in New Berlin, Wisconsin, says with a laugh.

And then, like most dogs when they reach a certain age, other things began to decline. At one point, Louie became unable to use the stairs. And the big question in Daphne's mind was: Was he still enjoying life?

"We sort of limped along for a few months being, like, 'Well, he's doing OK. He still seems to be enjoying the things that he always enjoyed, just in a different way,'" she says, adding that they eventually saw that change. "I know it sounds completely insane but, for us, the linchpin to the whole thing was he started to seem like he didn't even want to get up and get popcorn."

When someone in the family popped popcorn in the past, Louie was always the first at their feet, waiting for his favorite treat. "He [was] deaf and blind, but if you popped popcorn in the microwave, he knew," she says. "Oh, my gosh, it was hilarious. Like, he would hunt you down, around the house."

When Daphne realized Louie's excitement for popcorn - and life - was gone, she knew it was time.

"There are going to be changes when a dog grows older, but it's the changes that actually affect the quality of life that matter," she says.

Daphne's advice for anyone in the same situation? Prepare yourself in the months leading up to the end - especially if you have kids.

"We talked about it for probably a couple of weeks before [the end]," she says, referring to family discussions about Louie's health. "It was a lot of, 'If we do this, what does this look like?'"

Daphne says it was important to include the kids in the conversation and let them decide if they wanted to be there with Louie in the end.

"It was really hard," she says of deciding to euthanize and say goodbye to the dog that was almost like a first child to her. "But all of a sudden, he's gone, and it's so peaceful. There's a sense of relief, even in all of the grief."

She wasn't sure what her life would look like without her beloved dog

Bubba Wilson, a vivacious 60-year-old project manager in North Carolina, has fostered more than 500 dogs. She has also seen her share of pet deaths. While they've all been difficult and emotional, the hardest experience was with her 17-year-old Pomeranian, Annibelle, whom she refers to as "[my] soulmate, my heart dog."

When Annibelle was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, "I was not ready," Bubba admits. "I denied, denied, denied. I didn't even know how my life looked without her."

Though Annibelle started having breathing problems on a Friday night, Bubba kept her at home over the weekend, hoping to make her comfortable and have more time with her. But Bubba knew by Monday morning, she had to let Annibelle go. As horrible as the experience of saying goodbye to Annibelle was, it was also a life lesson for Bubba.

"It taught me that I was hanging on for me," Bubba says. "Most people want to extend, extend, extend. But you just need to give them that gift - because that's what it really is. We can take care of ourselves, but our pets cannot. It's up to us to take care of them."

She adds, "You have to change your mindset and see it as a last gift you are giving them, ending their suffering [in exchange] for all the gifts they've given you."

As for how to tell when the time is right, Bubba says there are a few telltale signs for elderly dogs. "Dogs are creatures of habit, so if their routine has changed - or they're not eating, they're restless at night, they have diarrhea often or can't keep food down - those are some clear signs you are near the end," she says. "The harder one is: Are they having fun anymore?"

Her biggest piece of advice is to remember that you know your dog best. "You're the only one who can make this choice, right?" she says. "You know your dog. You'll feel it in your heart and be right with it in your heart."

What does the veterinarian say?

Ghanasyam Bey, DVM

Veterinary Editor

Determining when it is time to say goodbye to your dog is a personal decision that involves considering your dog's quality of life. As a pet owner, you know your dog best in terms of what brings them joy. And you also know if they're quality of life has been impacted by their health or they're suffering.

If your dog no longer enjoys doing things they once did - like eating, going on walks, or interacting with people - it may mean it is time to say goodbye. This could also be the case if they have symptoms like loss of appetite, persistent trouble breathing, frequent vomiting, frequent diarrhea, or an inability to get around without significant pain or limping.

Your dog's veterinarian can also assess your dog's health and quality of life to determine if it might be time to say goodby. Putting your dog down is a difficult decision to make, but if done with care and respect for your pet, it can be a final act of kindness.