Supporting your veteran

Whether the veteran in your life just returned home from service or served many years ago, loved ones play a crucial role in providing support for them. Baylor College of Medicine experts outline the importance of caring for your veterans.

A new normal

When a veteran returns home, recognize and acknowledge that they might not slip right back into their previous ways. Settling back into civilian life can be difficult for veterans returning from deployment, so help support them and understand this tough transition.

"Often times, coming home is a process and everything is likely not the same as when the veteran left," said Dr. Angela Catic, associate professor of geriatrics and palliative medicine and associate chief of staff for education at the Michael E. DeBakey VA Medical Center. "Realize it's okay if there is a rocky start and it's not as idealistic as everyone may have anticipated."

Psychiatrist Dr. Jai Gandhi recommends being attentive to their experiences.

"Be thoughtful of the factors and help them relearn what is not dangerous," said Gandhi, assistant professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and inpatient consultation-liaison psychiatrist at the Michael E. DeBakey VA Medical Center.

Some regular activities might have required more guardedness during deployment, so be present when returning to these activities to portray normalcy, such as going to the grocery store or visiting a park that might have a larger crowd. Generally safe and normal activities in the U.S. may have induced danger in deployment. Check in with your veteran to see how they can manage these everyday tasks with your assistance.

Symptoms of distress

Some events could exacerbate symptoms of distress depending on the veteran's experience in the military. Sudden loud noises or being in unregulated, large crowds are common situations that might be tough for veterans who were deployed into combat zones.

"In military service, they are often exposed to loud sounds, which could mean a bomb is going off or gunshots are being fired in large crowds, so being in crowds or loud places can be a challenge," Gandhi said.

Diffusing moments of crisis

If a veteran is in a moment of crisis, strategies to help defuse the situation include:

• Keep your voice at a level volume: If the veteran is escalating their volume or physical motions that seem threatening, do not raise your voice in response to them.
• Ensure your body language remains neutral: Keep hands visible and do not posture yourself as if you're confronting them. Face-to-face positioning can seem intimidating, so stand at an angle that gives you room to move away from that position.
• Seek to understand: Ask questions about what may be going on to better understand what triggered this moment of crisis and how you can ease the situation.

Social connection

Returning to civilian life might feel isolating. Transitioning from service to a new normal can be a challenge, so building relationships with other veterans is crucial. Veterans hold shared experiences, and socialization can benefit their overall well-being while providing a sense of community and support.

"Being able to support each other is very important and there are a variety of mechanisms, such as joining veterans service organizations or support groups," Catic said. "Continuing to have a connection to the veteran community can be both fulfilling and also healing."

Support and resources

It might be a challenge to help your loved one recognize the benefit from additional assistance, such as seeking mental healthcare from the VA. While stigmas toward mental healthcare exist, remember to be inquisitive and ask about the veteran's experiences in civilian life. Validate their experiences and allow yourself to understand their perspective and needs.

"Broach it from an area of concern and acknowledge that this is often times a challenging transition, that other veterans need some extra support for this, and that the VA has resources for the transition period specifically because they understand it is common issue," Catic said.

"Be open-minded to the fact that not everyone is going to be ready to engage in mental healthcare, and if they aren't, forcing them into a visit is counterproductive," Gandhi said.

Support your veteran by:

• Thanking them for their service.
• Encouraging them to engage with other veterans and be of assistance (such as offering rides to their support group meetings).
• Encouraging them to take advantage of services through the VA.

The VA provides services specific to the needs of veterans, as well as support for spouses. Marriage and family therapy and other support systems are available. Veterans who are for the first time coming back to civilian life, as well as returning veterans, can take advantage of the VA resources.

"Studies show veterans have better health outcomes when they are served at a VA, so realize this is a resource. There is no wrong time to enroll. You can present right after service or 30 years after you retire. It's never too late to come to the VA," Catic said.

By Homa Warren

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