The Importance of Having Conversations About End Of Life Early

No one gets excited thinking about their own death. It's not supposed to be an exciting topic. But it's not supposed to be something that you can just ignore until it is too late either. In fact, Shawn Bennis, MSN, RN, CHC, a faith community nurse and family caregiver specialist at Henry Ford Health, explains that conversations about end-of-life planning should happen early and frequently throughout your life.

"As you or a family member gets older, make sure that you are taking time to prepare in the event of an accident, sudden illness or end-of-life," says Bennis. "Try to frame these discussions as normal conversation that need to happen throughout your life."

Bennis suggests that we start changing our approach to death. While our culture today is very good at planning for happy events like birthdays and anniversaries, we forget that we need to plan for death too. And, the sooner we normalize the conversation, the better.

When To Have End-Of-Life Conversations

Having end-of-life plans in place early allows you to have a proper say in your healthcare wishes. "Don't wait for illness or injury to occur before having plans in place," warns Bennis. "If you are unable to make these decisions and don't have a plan, you are at the mercy of those around you to make these decisions on your behalf. In these situations (which are often stressful and fueled with emotions), it is better to be proactive instead of reactive."

Many experts recommend that you begin end-of-life conversations around age 55. Bennis argues that these conversations should really happen as early as age 18. As someone reaches adulthood, it is likely they may be moving out from under the care of a parent or guardian, headed away to school or starting a job in another city or state. That is the perfect time to start having these conversations and putting something in place in case of an emergency.

"We obviously don't want to think that something tragic will happen when people are young," says Bennis. "Unfortunately, things do happen and it is better to have a plan in place and prepare for the what-ifs instead of hoping it sorts itself out on its own."

Who To Involve In Your End-Of-Life Planning

To normalize having end-of-life conversations, it is okay to talk openly with those around you about the importance of getting a plan in place. This is a conversation that should happen between parents or guardians and their children, with a spouse or partner, but also with siblings and friends. If you have on-going health concerns, you can also involve your doctor in these conversations as well.

Most importantly, make sure that you assign someone in your life to be your voice in your medical decision making. Make sure that this person has a clear understanding of your care wishes and will make sure that your wishes are met.

What Is Involved In End-Of-Life Planning

A big step in end-of-life planning is setting up an advance directive. This document is part of your medical record that indicates your healthcare wishes. If the time comes that big decisions about your health need to be made, this document will act as a guide for your medical care team.

End-of-life planning isn't limited to your healthcare wishes though. Another thing to consider is your estate planning. If you were to die tomorrow, who would you want to inherit your possessions? If nothing is in place, it may prevent family members or other loved ones from inheriting your things. Bennis recommends that you talk with your family and a lawyer to make sure you have everything in place in the event of your passing.

"The beauty of these end-of-life planning documents is that you can make changes to them at any time," says Bennis. "People may come in and out of your life, or your situation may change at some point in time. If at any point you want to change who will be your healthcare advocate or how you would like medical professionals to proceed if you are incapacitated, make sure that those changes are communicated in writing to those around you and in your medical record."