Helping your child through a friendship breakup - Children's National

Summer is a time of transition, often leading to changes in friendships. Kids moving to new schools, teenagers heading off to college, and new activities can all cause friendships to fade. While these breakups are common, they can still be painful for your child. Here's why these breakups can be so hard, and how you can help your child navigate this difficult time.

Understanding the emotional impact of a friendship breakup

Did you know that for young people, friendship breakups can be just as painful as romantic breakups? During adolescence, emotions are often heightened, making the loss of a close friend feel devastating. Here are some reasons why these breakups can be so difficult:

• Loss of a support system: Friends provide a sense of belonging, acceptance and shared experiences. Losing that can make your child feel lonely and isolated.
• Confusion: Especially for younger children, understanding why a friendship ended can be confusing. They might blame themselves or feel insecure about their social standing.
• Fear of rejection: Friendship breakups can trigger anxiety about being rejected by others in the future.

Supporting your child through a friendship breakup

Here are some tips to help your child navigate the loss of a friend:

• Acknowledge their feelings. Let your child know it is okay to feel sad, angry or confused. You can say something like, "I know this is a difficult time. It's tough when friendships change." Validate their emotions and avoid minimizing their pain with phrases like "You'll find new friends."
• Share your own experiences. Did you go through a similar situation? Talking about it can help your child see they are not alone and that things can get better. Frame your story in a way that shows you overcame the challenge.
• Help them find new ways to connect. Encourage them to reach out to old friends, join new activities or connect with people online. Having a strong social network can help them feel supported.
• Focus on coping skills. Help your child develop healthy ways to manage their emotions. This might include exercise, relaxation techniques like deep breathing or creative outlets like journaling or art.
• Watch for warning signs. If your child is feeling down for a long time, is not eating or sleeping well or seems withdrawn, they might need extra help. Talk to a doctor or therapist if you are concerned.

Remember, you are your child's safe space. Let them know you are there to listen and support them through this difficult time. By helping them develop healthy coping mechanisms now, you are setting them up for success in the future.