The Drew Barrymore Show: “Nightbitch” Director Marielle Heller and Star Amy Adams

"Nightbitch" Director Marielle Heller and

Star Amy Adams

Air Date: Monday, December 9^th

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Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean

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Videos:

Marielle Heller, Amy Adams and Drew on Embracing Motherhood Failures

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/TAr4B19T6HEs

Drew: Hid you, I know it's based off a book. I read the New Yorker article and I loved learning all the things that were nuanced and changed. And I really appreciated the instincts that you had to change something like the mom friends that I was in so many mommy and me classes and baby and I, you know, I think we shame each other a little bit by like, what are you doing? Are you in this class? Are you in this? Are you keeping up? Are you getting your veggies from the farmers? No, I'm feeding them out of a jar. Am I a bad parent? You know, there's so much pressure as if we weren't putting enough pressure on ourselves.

Marielle: I felt that way too.

Amy: I did too.

Marielle: It's like, almost, I felt like I had imposter syndrome as a mom. Like I would look at all the other moms and be like, why do they all know how to do it? Why do they all have the diaper and the wipes ready? And I'm always the one who forgot the diaper and I'm so in my head and we don't admit it to each other. We don't admit how hard it is or how much we feel like we're failing every day because it just feels like you're supposed to know how to do it and it's supposed to just come naturally to us.

Amy: I mean, I definitely, I failed miserably many times over and that's what was so great about doing this film. It's like getting to sort of pay honor to that person, you know, who, who struggled and didn't always get it right. But who loved their child desperately and, and getting to talk about it and say it out loud, the complexities of parenthood and motherhood. It was just, it was really cathartic.

Amy on How She Changed After Having Kids and Learning to Ask for Help

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/2enT284qANMC

Drew: Did you change? Because I, I know that I changed so much having kids.

Amy: Oh, yeah, I mean, I think my awareness of how much I changed just took time because I was trying so hard to please others and trying so hard to just do everything that I could and be everything to everybody all the time. And I think it just exhausted myself. And at some point, I had no more energy for anything but honesty. And I think at some point I was able to speak the truth and to really ask for what I needed, communicate that like maybe I don't have it all under control and maybe I need a little bit more support than I thought I did. Because I, like I said, I changed. It took me a while to get to know who I was after having my daughter and like reorganizing priorities and learning new types of communication. It was all of that and also at the same time really being present and enjoying each moment with this beautiful being in front of me. But it's now just memory in my life, I would give anything to go back and rock her. I'm like, why didn't I let my daughter finger paint all over the room? Like, what, what would have been the big deal? I mean, it would have created a lot of work for me. But aside for that, I, I mean, like, I, why didn't I eat like a dog with her? You know, like, and I'm a pretty laid back person, but even watching this, I was like, why didn't I get in touch more with my feral self? Why was I so concerned that, like, she was wearing matching socks, like, who cares? Like, you know, it's just a lot of time spent on things that weren't as important, as the connection, you know. And I think that's the most important thing.

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