Coping with grief

Grief is a natural response to a loss. Many struggle with how little loss is discussed and acknowledged, which can often leave people feeling as if they are enduring it alone.

In fact, the opposite is true. Each of the approximately 2.5 million people who die each year in the United States leaves behind an average of five people who deeply mourn their loss, according to a 2005 JAMA article. A 2019 WebMD survey found that some 57% of Americans had experienced a major loss in the previous three years.

For those coping with loss, the shift from fall to winter can be especially hard, as the holiday season lies ahead and our thoughts turn to people, things and experiences that are missing.

Grief - whether for people, pets or even life circumstances such as jobs or homes - can take a serious toll on both mental and physical health, potentially disrupting many of your body systems and causing depression, anger, anxiety, sleep problems and headaches.

There is no way to avoid grief or rush the process, which can be nonlinear and open-ended. Even years later, the sensation of loss may be triggered by a resonant song, or a special food or place.

Everyone's process and journey is different, but professionals recommend a number of coping strategies. One key early on is maintaining your habits, especially for self-care and exercise. Also consider keeping some of the routines that once brought you comfort, while adding others that can help you transition into life without the person or thing you have lost: a standing date at a favorite diner with a friend, say, or a weekly check-in with a therapist.

It's also important to find ways to memorialize those people and things you have lost. Spend time with friends and family, share stories and commemorate anniversaries and other milestones.

Above all, many people find that processing grief through talking can help lift its weight - and reaffirm that you are not alone. The UFT's Member Assistance Program offers a confidential grief and loss support group, a series of four weekly meetings, which convenes four times a year. The next series begins on Nov. 25.

Call the UFT Helpline 24/7 at 866-UFT-FOR-U, or contact the Member Assistance Program Monday through Friday at 212-701-9620 or [email protected] to speak with a licensed clinician.