Honoring National Coming Out Day: A reflection for Veterans and service members

When I first joined VA as a staff psychologist, I met a mentor who would come to shape my understanding of LGBTQ+ military service. Debby, a Navy Veteran and the original LGBTQ Veteran Care Coordinator (VCC) at our hospital, was preparing for retirement. She gifted me her collection of LGBTQ+ books, including rare copies of Ann Bannon's series and Alison Bechdel's works. These texts were windows into the experiences of previous generations who had to navigate their identities in a world that often forced them to hide.

Debby, who served before the days of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT), shared stories of being a closeted lesbian in the military-experiences both heartwarming and terrifying. She described a coded song that women used to "come out" to one another in secret. But she was also investigated twice for suspected queerness, always under the looming threat of career-ending consequences if discovered.

For LGBTQ+ military service members, the repeal of DADT in 2011 was a critical turning point. DADT, intended as a compromise, resulted in the discharge of over 14,000 service members due to their sexual orientation. Its repeal, along with the subsequent policy allowing transgender individuals to serve openly, represented progress toward a more inclusive military, though challenges remain. National Coming Out Day reminds us of the courage it takes to live authentically and highlights the ongoing fight for equality.

The mental health impact of "coming out"

For LGBTQ+ Veterans and service members, coming out isn't just a personal journey-it can be a matter of health and well-being. Research shows that LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly transgender Veterans, face disproportionate mental health challenges. Transgender Veterans are 20 times more likely to attempt or die by suicide compared to their cisgender peers. These outcomes aren't a reflection of identity but of the stigma, discrimination and violence that LGBTQ+ people endure.

Poor mental health among LGBTQ+ populations is often driven by external factors-hostility and exclusion from others-rather than any inherent vulnerability. Studies consistently show that acceptance, whether within the family, workplace or health care settings, leads to significantly improved mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ people. This is why National Coming Out Day, and the broader culture of acceptance it promotes, is so crucial. For Veterans and service members, VA must be a safe place where the LGBTQ+ population can be open about their identities without fear of judgment or rejection.

LGBTQ+ Veterans and VA

As the LGBTQ+ Veteran Care Coordinator since 2022, it has been my role to ensure that all Veterans receive the care they deserve while also affirming their identities. VA is for all Veterans, and it's critical that we address the unique needs of those who belong to minority groups, including LGBTQ+ Veterans. Our work with the CMV further highlights the intersection of identities-Veterans of color and LGBTQ+ Veterans who often face compounded challenges due to discrimination across multiple dimensions.

In recent years, VA has expanded its services to support LGBTQ+ Veterans, with dedicated care coordinators in every facility. Yet, we know there's more to be done. At present, Black transgender women are among the most vulnerable populations in the U.S., facing high rates of violence and discrimination. Advocacy and policy changes are necessary to ensure safety and access to services for all Veterans, with attunement to their gender identity and sexual orientation.

The road ahead

National Coming Out Day is a powerful reminder of the importance of visibility and authenticity. For Veterans and service members who have fought for the freedom of others, the ability to live openly should not be a privilege, but a right. As VA continues to work toward more inclusive care, we must ensure that all Veterans-no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity-know that they are seen, valued and supported.

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