Bridging the Divide: Civility Expert Offers Tips on How to Flourish Across Differences

Hudson

In a world increasingly divided by politics, one author believes the key to unity lies in an often-overlooked virtue: civility.

Alexandra Hudson, founder of Civic Renaissance, is on a mission to elevate public discourse and mend societal rifts through the wisdom of the past. Her book, "The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves," explores how genuine civility can bridge today's political divide.

"The most important question of our day is how do we flourish across deep differences?" she asked a 2024 NCSL Legislative Summit session.

Hudson says her experience in local, state and federal levels of government and policy helped shape her views on civility. During her tenure at the U.S. Department of Education, she says she observed two behavior extremes. "There were those who were overly hostile and would sharp-elbow others to get ahead," she says. "And others were polished and poised and polite. These were the people who would smile and flatter you one minute and stab you in the back the next. It felt like constant guerrilla warfare."

These experiences led Hudson to reflect on deeper questions about humanity and respect. "What does it mean to be human? What is the bare minimum of respect we're owed by virtue of our humanity and dignity? What does that look like in practice, even in our deeply divided moment?"

"How do we peacefully coexist amidst competing visions of the good?"

-Alexandra Hudson, founder of Civic Renaissance

Civility vs. Politeness

Hudson says there is a clear distinction between civility and politeness, terms people often mistakenly use interchangeably. "Politeness is about manners, technique and etiquette-external behaviors," she says. "Where civility is something deeper and richer-it's a disposition of the heart. It's a way of showing others a bare minimum amount of respect just by our shared dignity and moral status as members of the human community."

Her research led her to conclude that the key question is not just how to get along despite disagreements but also how we flourish even when we disagree. "This is also the defining question of democracy," she says. "How do we peacefully coexist amidst competing visions of the good?"

A Global Perspective

The crisis of civility, Hudson says, is not just local but also global. "This is a threat that democracies around the globe are enduring. This year, half the globe will go to the polls, including our own country. Yet it feels as if the threats to democracy have never been greater."

And, she adds, the question of how to peacefully coexist in hyperpartisan times isn't just the defining question of democracy, "it's the defining question of the humanity of our species."

Humans, according to Hudson, are defined by two forces: love of others and relationships with others.

"That's why people in all times and places have come together in groups to collaborate and have increased chances of survival," she says. "Life with others is the good life. And yet, morally and biologically, we are driven to meet our own needs before others."

But history allows us to reflect on our roles in making the world a civil place for future generations, Hudson says.

"What can just one of us do? What can one state representative, one congressperson, one mother, one book, one author do to be a part of the solution? The reality is, we each have way more power to be a part of the solution than any of us realize," she says.

"People across the country are choosing to reclaim their spirit, influence and community. It's about the disposition of civility-choosing to reach across the divides and transform outsiders to insiders, strangers into friends."

Lesley Kennedy is NCSL's director of publishing and digital content.

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