21/08/2024 | News release | Distributed by Public on 22/08/2024 01:39
Author: Drippy the Water Drop
I know you're thirstin' for me all the time. After all, Portland water is pretty sweet. But I'm more than just a pretty (damp) face and a catchy tune. I'm refreshing, high quality, and great for your health. I'm essential to your morning coffee, your soft skin, and-not to brag-pretty much everything else in the world. Yeah, I'm H2O and this song is my anthem.
You may recognize the instrumentals of my new song from Sabrina Carpenter's hit song "Espresso." I hear some people are calling her version the song of the summer. "Espresso" may be a good song of the summer, but it's not the best beverage of the summer. That honor belongs to good old water-yes that's that me, H2O.
Espresso, juice, or soda may be tempting on a hot summer day, but I can give you energy without the crash or the calories. Plus, I have other benefits your juice doesn't, like keeping your skin healthy (soft skin, I moisturized it for ya). Not convinced your juice or brew don't do it for ya? You can always add some kick to me. I get along well with lemon or cucumber. (Get more tips on hydrating for health.)
Who needs juice when there's lot of ways to make your water just how you like it? Squeeze a lemon. Infuse it with cucumber. Add a sprinkle of salt.The Bull Run Watershed, source of literal mountain dew!And you don't need soda when I can literal mountain dew it for ya. After all, my main home is the Bull Run Watershed, a temperate rainforest full of dew located 26 miles east of Portland in the hills near Mount Hood.
The Bull Run Watershed is a great home, but sometimes in the summer or after storms in the watershed, I head underground to my second home in the Columbia South Shore Well Field. Thanks to my two high-quality homes, I can quench your thirst all year round, just take a sip.
The humans at the Water Bureau are also working hard to protect me from climate change and other emergencies by investing in our water system so I can quench your thirst for years to come.
You can't have espresso without water anyway. Yeah, that morning coffee, brewed it for ya. I'm an essential ingredient in every cup of coffee, every beer, and every meal. I can also put out fires and grow plants so often. I'd like to meet the cup of espresso that can do all that!
I'm not the only one who's working late 'cause I'm essential: over 600 humans work at the Water Bureau. They work every day, overnight, and on weekends and holidays to operate and maintain Portland's water system (or, as I like to call it, Drippy's Theme Park) so that I stay safe to drink.
We're working late cause we're essential! We work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to deliver high quality water to your taps.So next time you say you thirsty, remember, nothing hydrates like water. So, come drink me, H2O.
Disclaimer: This blog and music parody were written by real live human beings, not a sentient water drop. Thank you to Portland Parks and Recreation, Nossa Familia Coffee, and all the employees at the Water Bureau who worked on this effort to make hydration the next big hit!
[Chorus]
Now you're thirstin' for me all the time, oh
Is it that sweet? I guess so
Quenching your thirst, take a sip
That's that me, H2O
Drink it up, down, left, right, oh
Switch it up like Nintendo
Say you thirsty, baby, I know
Come drink me, H2O
[Verse 1]
I lend myself to perspiration
Super important while on vacation
And I got this bottle
And it won't stop filling
And you know this water
I won't be spilling
[Pre-chorus]
Too bad your juice don't do it for ya
Walked in and dream came trued it for ya
Soft skin I moisturized it for ya
Literal mountain dew it for ya
That morning coffee, brewed it for ya
One sip and I brand newed it for ya
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
I'm working late 'cause I'm essential
Oh, I look so cute when I'm all torrential
I put out fires, grow plants so often
I'm so popular, everybody's callin'
[Pre-chorus]
Too bad your brew don't do it for ya
Walked in and dream came trued it for ya
Soft skin I moisturized it for ya
Literal mountain dew it for ya
That morning coffee, brewed it for ya
One sip and I brand newed it for ya
[Chorus x 2]