It all started with a dog

By Tyler Coe

I practice law at a firm where folks enjoy practicing law. Here at Dentons, I often walk the halls and ask my colleagues what they are working on. Nearly every time, I get a response including excitement, an explanation of the work, and an inquiry as to what I am working on and what is going on in my life. After each interaction, since I moved my family law practice to Dentons in December 2021, I often wondered how these folks regularly, if ever, took time for themselves and remained happy. After a little more time at the firm, I realized these people had interests outside the actual practice of law. Shocked, I learned my colleagues enjoy travel, hockey, time with their families, boating, and much more. I compared my colleagues to myself and thought it was strange how these people had so many outside interests. This is because my joke with friends, colleagues, and clients has always been that I have two loves in my life: Lyla, my beautiful dog daughter, and the law.

Since I adopted Lyla in January 2020, I write with certainty that my happiness, productivity levels, and empathy have all gone up. She greatly and positively affects me each day. Now, my other love, the law, brings about great joy but also causes me a certain amount of stress. To alleviate that stress and the sometimes chaos imposed by the reality of my divorce practice, I often doubled down on my work. Nothing could be more exciting than reading about business valuations, right? Well, I learned there are other forms of excitement.

I realized this other excitement when the man I started dating in October 2023 handed me a gift. The gift was a sticker that read, "So much to worry about, so little time." He said it was for the name card outside my office. He noticed my colleagues and I often put stickers around our name placards. Not quite sure how to interpret the gift since we had only been dating for several months, I laughed but then casually cross-examined him. He was used to this at that point, as our first three dates he calls the "Tyler Coe accelerated dating method." From my careful examination, I found out the sticker was truly to make me laugh because he saw how often I worried about things and put nearly all else before myself. I knew he meant well, so I proudly placed the sticker outside my office.

Tyler Coe's name placard outside of his office at Dentons Davis Brown in Des Moines

About three weeks after I received the gift, I was walking with Lyla around downtown Des Moines. Beautiful plants and flowers had popped up in the planters along the sidewalks. Ever since Lyla came into my life, she always enjoyed standing up to sniff all the plants and flowers or making sure I picked her up if she could not reach. Sometimes she would smell them for a few seconds, while other times she would smell them for a few minutes. During this walk, I paid extra attention to the look on her face and the emotion in her eyes. After she was done sniffing, she was bursting with happiness, picked up her speed, and seemed more content than usual. Only then did I realize my colleagues and Lyla had something I did not: a hobby.

With the revelation that I needed a hobby and to increase Lyla's happiness, I spent nearly 30 hours researching the best plants and flowers that would be safe for dogs. Yes, I knew Lyla would soon have an outdoor oasis! Over the next five weeks, Lyla and I went from garden center to garden center finding the perfect plants and flowers, planters that Lyla helped pick out, and I went to work creating our oasis. About halfway through creating Lyla's serene outdoor space, I started laughing while planting a string of hearts. Why the laughter? I suddenly realized I had for perhaps the first time in my life an actual hobby! To my friends, me having a hobby was earth-shattering news. Several asked me if I was okay. A friend and colleague was stunned when I told her about the research I had done on plant propagation.

ISBA Photo Contest finalist: Tyler Coe's dog Lyla on the patio after a 'ruff' day of gardening

Now, with over 32 plants and flowers, Lyla is not only still enjoying her hobby of smelling the flowers, but I found my own sustainable hobby. This is not directly about the law. This is something I enjoy. After sometimes long hours spent with the law, I now have something to do outside the legal field that I actually enjoy doing no matter how tired I am. This, I discovered, was how my colleagues sustained themselves in what we can all agree is a high-pressure career where we all want to do our best. So, the gardening continues.

A couple weeks ago when my partner noticed a large indoor plant cart with multicolor LED lights, standing about six feet tall, making its way home, he chuckled and asked if I was planning on bringing the plants inside this winter. I assured him that was the plan, and I even had those same lights on tripods for the much larger plants. I asked him what he was thinking. He smiled and said, "A hobby is a good look on you. I really love that you enjoy this." When pushed to explain, he said he saw a transformation from nearly always thinking about my clients, the law, or the ensuing stress to now finding time to enjoy life. He was quick to note, however, that he understands law remains one of my original loves.

About the author:

Tyler is a divorce and family law attorney chairing the family law practice group at Dentons. Outside of work, he enjoys teaching a family law course at Drake Law, ensuring his dog daughter Lyla lives her best life, spending time with his partner, and enjoying his newfound hobby.

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