The Birth of a Brand New Life

Falling into drug use at an early age was a family tradition. Amber's father died of a heroin overdose when she was just 12 years old. Not even that scared her sober. Already addicted to meth in her teens, she struggled in school socially and academically - often skipping class in favor of doing drugs.

Amber remembered growing up in a household with drugs as early as she could remember. She and her brother would leave the house and wander the streets just to get away from it all
- often ending up at a place called Loaves and Fishes, just to make that human connection they were sorely lacking at home.

By the time she was in high school, her struggles landed her in a continuation school - a place they send kids the system has given up on, or so she felt. Amber was dead inside, hopeless. Yet when she found out about a mentoring program that was available through her school, something inside pushed her to sign up. She was paired with a woman named Suzanne. They first met up at a store called "The Beat" in downtown Sacramento. Suzanne encouraged Amber to be more focused and engaged in school. She even paid her to go to class and eventually, graduate high school.

For a time, Amber was clean, she got an internship at the State Capital and moved in with her sister. Her life was moving in a more positive and productive direction. Until she met a guy she thought she was in love with, who turned her back to meth.

Amber struggled on and off with meth addiction for the next decade. She'd get clean for some time and fall back into addiction for one reason or another. Every time she was clean she wanted a good reason to stay sober and change her life, but she just couldn't find that "why..." until she saw those two pink lines.

Learning she was pregnant hit her like a truck. But addiction is a tight fist that is hard to break away from and Amber continued to struggle with drug use even through her pregnancy. Tears stream down her face as she says, "I remember taking lines just days before I went into labor. I wanted to stop, I just couldn't."

In the hospital, right after her son was born, Child Protective Services showed up. Her son tested positive for drugs in his system. Her brother and sister-in-law came to the hospital and told her that they would temporarily care for her son as foster parents if she went to rehab and got clean. But if she wasn't willing to get clean - they were going to walk away and never look back.

As Amber hesitated, her mind muddled from the drugs and the exhaustion of childbirth, trying to make a choice that would change her life, one way or another - her family walked away.

Amber remembers the social worker was so kind to her, even under the circumstances. "You have three days - three days to sober up, find a rehab facility and get admitted - if you can do that, we'll work with you to keep your baby."

After she was discharged from the hospital, her brother and sister-in-law cared for her son, while she stayed in a motel that her dear friend and high school mentor Suzanne paid for. They'd kept in touch all these years and Suzanne was still her champion and still believed in her ability to succeed.

During her three-day window, she called a dozen drug rehab facilities while she detoxed from meth. None would let her bring her baby. She was feeling hopeless and unstable, not to mention shaky from the lack of drugs in her system. She was close to giving up - until she found one place in Camino that had an immediate opening, would allow her to bring her baby and was ready to accept her on the spot.

The rehab facility and her CPS social worker coordinated her transportation to the facility, and the release of her newborn son back into her care while she was in rehab. Miraculously, he seemed to be perfectly healthy and thriving. The rehab facility required a two-month disconnect from everything - no outside communication at all. During that time Amber got sober and learned how to be a mother. She fell in love with life and her sweet baby boy who saved her life.

While Amber was at Bridges, another resident told her about Women's Empowerment - a program, funded in part by Sacramento County, designed to educate and empower women who are experiencing homelessness with the skills and confidence necessary to get a job, maintain a healthy lifestyle and regain a home for themselves and their children. Amber recalls her friend saying, "Look into it - it will change your life."

Amber went through the Women's Empowerment Institute of Real Estate Management class, a property management training program. There was a problem though - a major barrier to employment, Amber had a conviction on her record from 2012, assault with a deadly weapon.

Fortunately, the Sacramento County Public Defender's Office's Expungement Clinic was able to help clear her record for employment.

In 2019, Amber and her son moved in with her mom, who was also now clean and sober and needing daily assistance due to a broken hip. Amber became her IHSS caregiver and was able to bring in some income. But then came COVID, followed by complacency as well as the birth of her daughter, and before she knew it, she realized it had been years since she had done anything to improve her future for herself and now, her two children.

She was still connected to Women's Empowerment, so she called them up and heard about Trellis Gardens, a new sheltering program specifically designed to get mothers and their children ready to rent their own apartments through a two-year program of support and tiered rental payments.

Amber and her kids were the first residents to move into Trellis Gardens. They had a two-bedroom cottage on a small campus tucked away in North Sacramento. "It was the first time we've ever had something of our own, our own space."

While things were looking up for Amber and her kids, she was still facing challenges every day. The father of her daughter was abusive and hellbent on making her life miserable. "A textbook narcissist - that is what he is. My ex has made things so hard for me. He has hacked all my social media accounts, my ready to rent app, created multiple phone numbers to call me from. I have a restraining order against him now, but he is so manipulative."

Just a few months ago she got her wish - Amber graduated from Trellis Gardens and she and her kids moved into an apartment of their own. Her rent is based on her income, so it stays affordable for her. "I don't even need food stamps. My bills are paid, food is on the table. It feels good. I'm saving money to buy a house! I want to be able to travel with my children. Give them things and experiences I never had."

Moving into their own place was bittersweet - they were all scared the first few nights, alone and without the village they had come to rely on. But that is in the past, now Amber just looks around with pride. "I did this, I cannot believe it. And I'm eight years sober from meth. I am so proud of myself, nobody else did that, that was me."

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"I tell my son all the time that he saved my life while I was giving him his." ​