How I Learned to Care for a Rescue Cat and Gain Her Trust

GoodRx Health

I've been around cats all my life, but I never knew one who didn't play - until Sophia adopted us.

Our new rescue cat was sweet and affectionate, but her time as a stray had made her skittish. Helping her feel safe enough to have fun again took longer than we ever expected.

It was worth every minute.

She was friendly but wary at first

We first met Sophia on Halloween, when she joined my daughter's trick-or-treat group. She was skinny and scraggly, without a collar, and it looked like she'd been living on her own for a while. She was happy to come home with us.

At first, we assumed she was a kitten, because of her tiny size and her squeaky, little-girl meow. But she didn't act like a kitten. She didn't pounce on our fingers, play chase, or attack the paper bag we left for her on the floor.

We took her for a medical checkup right away, an important part of cat care. The vet confirmed that she was an adult, probably about 3 years old. Someone had cared enough to spay her and teach her good manners. She never scratched the furniture or had litter box accidents. She loved jumping onto any available lap.

But even after she settled into our family, she stayed fearful. Loud noises and unexpected movements startled her. She ignored every toy we offered her.

A blended pet family can be challenging

Our long-haired black cat, Bagheera, wasn't enthusiastic about sharing his space. He showed his displeasure by peeing on Sophia's bed. We solved the problem by giving each cat their own litter box and sleeping space. We also kept giving Bagheera plenty of attention, and soon he adjusted.

Our dog sometimes overwhelmed little Sophia with her exuberance, and she retreated into nooks and crannies where the dog couldn't follow. Over time, her nervousness diminished. Sometimes I even caught her touching noses with our other pets when they thought nobody was looking.

Like most cats, Sophia was happiest with a predictable routine and a safe environment. We were a busy family with irregular schedules, but I always made sure she had water, a clean box, and regular meals. She remained shy, but she had plenty of love to give.

In old age, our cat enjoyed a second childhood

My daughter wanted Sophia to play with her the way our other pets did. She tried every imaginable toy - balls, strings, bells, catnip mice. Sophia wasn't interested. As weeks turned into months, my daughter kept trying. Sophia still said "no thank you" to games. But eventually she watched the toys from a corner of the room instead of running away.

Several years after she joined our family, I glimpsed her under the kitchen table, tugging at a rubber band. She was finally playing! It took all my self-control not to cheer out loud.

The moment she saw she had an audience, she fled. But a few weeks later, my daughter and I caught her batting at a discarded stretchy toy. This time, Sophia gave us a good hard glare before she darted away. I got the message: You saw nothing, and we will never speak of this again.

Sophia was at least 10 by now, grandma-age in cat years. As she grew older, her adventurous spirit re-emerged. For years, she had shown no interest in going outside. Now she started to sneak out whenever she had the chance. She even made friends with the next-door neighbor's cat.

We watched the door more carefully after that, since she wasn't smart about cars, and I wanted her to stay safe inside. But it warmed my heart to see how far she had come since we brought her home.

Just like Sophia, I was aging, too. I negotiated a barrage of losses and failures as I navigated the rough waters of my 50s. It scared me to think my best years might be behind me - and they hadn't been all that great. Watching Sophia blossom gave me hope. If it wasn't too late for her, maybe it wasn't too late for me.

By the time my daughter reached her senior year of high school, Sophia was growing more fragile. I knew she wouldn't live into her 20s or late teens like some of our other cats. Still, her spirit kept getting stronger.

That Christmas, our dog demanded her own presents, as usual. Sophia watched the fuss from under the tree, as usual. My daughter tossed her a wad of wrapping paper, and I sighed, knowing the cat would ignore it again.

But to my amazement, Sophia reached out a paw and batted the paper, like any normal cat. After almost a decade, she finally felt safe enough to play with us. I don't remember much else about the holiday, but I'll never forget that moment.

Sophia was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease a few months later. Our vet suggested giving her intravenous therapy at home, which meant injecting her with fluids every day to help her stay hydrated. But this treatment can be difficult, and research is mixed about how effective it is. We took a more conservative approach, giving her medicated food and working to keep her as comfortable as possible. She remained affectionate and, yes, playful, until the end.

Here's what I learned about gaining a rescue cat's trust

Adopting an adult rescue cat brings rich rewards. But every cat comes with a history, and sometimes baggage. It helps to plan and prepare.

Be very, very patient

Healing doesn't happen overnight. A slow and steady approach works well. It might take weeks or months for a cat to blossom in a new home.

Give your kitty space

All cats, rescues or not, appreciate a quiet corner where they can retreat when they feel overwhelmed. Offer a climbing tower, an empty box, or another place of refuge.

Keep the routines consistent

In a busy home, it's not always possible to keep a clockwork schedule. But regular bedtimes and mealtimes will go a long way toward helping a new cat feel secure.

Be strategic in helping pets adjust to each other

If possible, introduce furry friends slowly and with supervision. Give lots of love to the pets you already have, so they won't feel excluded.

Don't neglect medical care

When a cat is shy or mistrustful, it's tempting to delay medical appointments for fear of causing more trauma. But illness or injury is even more traumatic. Every new cat needs a full medical checkup. The cat should also be spayed or neutered if this hasn't already been done.

Your veterinarian will be a valuable resource in helping you navigate any bumps in your adoption process.

Expect an amazing journey

Love and care for your rescue cat, and you'll get back love in return. Maybe not gratitude - a cat is a cat, after all. But whether the cat tells you so or not, you're their hero.

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