Lotus Esprit Latest: Complicate and Add Spitefulness

Colin Chapman's famous principles do not apply to the maintenance of his cars. Work on them is never simple nor light.

Even the most straightforward jobs quickly turn from head-scratching to full-on, tool-throwing tantrums, as I discovered as I attempted to ready my 1982 Esprit for the summer driving season.

First an oil, filters, and plug change-and while the engine was empty of oil, I thought it would also be a good idea to address the weepy rocker-cover gaskets.

A garage had fitted the standard paper ones without adding a special sealant. As a result, oil has always dribbled out, pooling in the wells for the spark plugs. A solution appeared to be a pair of flexible, medical-grade rubber gaskets which have to be installed dry.

Accessing to the engine bay without a ramp required me to clamber into the small trunk space and hunch forward. After I drained the oil, the oil filter wouldn't budge, and getting the removal tool in place then required that I take off the airbox and inlet trumpets. Not difficult, but a time sap.

With the engine dry-ish, I undid the rocker cover bolts, removed the old gaskets, and gave everything a good clean.

Re-seating the new rubber seals was torture.

No matter what I did, they wouldn't seal. I couldn't get a torque wrench-or in fact, anything other than a spanner-in the gap between the engine bay surround and the rocker cover. It was trial and error (mostly error) for hours as I repeatedly seated, unseated, and reseated the gaskets and tightened, untightened, and tightened the retaining bolts to my best guess at the right torque setting.

Several times I contemplated dropping a lit match into the engine bay, but, eventually, some eight hours after I started the project, the engine seemed to be holding oil.

I immediately abandoned any ideas I may have had to install the new front springs and dampers I'd bought and booked the car into Rapid Mechanical Services in Romford, Essex which was highly recommended by fellow Esprit owners on Facebook.

Dave said he would be able to fit the suspension, give the carbs a tune, get the car through its annual MOT test, and even fix a paint chip for a very reasonable price.

A day after I dropped the car off, he called with some news. It wasn't great. The radiator needed replacing, the top of the engine was still leaking and the constant dribble of oil down the engine over time had wrecked two motor mounts. All the suspension bushes were badly worn, along with the steering rack gator. The gear linkage bushes were shot and a jet was required to sort the carbs. Quite the list.

A month or so later, with my wallet considerably lightened, I collected the car. It was transformed. The engine has never run so sweetly, the gearbox is-if not pleasant-a little more precise. Meanwhile, the new front end has been given some much need extra ground clearance, along with a renewed keenness to tip into corners and a more compliant ride.

I got the Esprit back with just days to go before a road trip to France for a friend's wedding and, if all goes to plan, a detour to some mountain roads. I'll report back in a couple of weeks, when I find out whether my new-found confidence is justified.

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